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did you ever feel like you've misplaced something? car keyes, wallet, yourself? that's how i feel right this second. why? i'm all out of control. it's like i'm driving the car but there's no one behind the wheel. it's just running on it's own. not paying attention to where i wanna go. and i don't like it.

being on the edge and not knowing if you're gonna jump now or an hour later because it seems like there's no way out. believe me i'm not making this up. it's true that i've spent the last weekend watching the 1st season of the x-files and i'm feeling all kind of strange sensations in my head wondering if any of those stories might actually be true. imagine for a moment. that the truth isn't out there but here right infront of us. yes, it's a scary thought. and i like it. in this crazyness of my misplacement-dimensia it's the only sane place i can come to that will not let me down. ever. and i'm thankful for that.

so back to my misplacement scenario. i just feel i don't belong anymore. it used to be so much fun but now i just feel i'm dragging myself to the same place every day just because i have nowhere else to go. for the moment. and something needs to change soon or i'll end up living a life other people expect me to and forget about me. god, i wish i could talk to someone that feels the same way. perhaps we could help eachother. i trully hope so.

sicko

it's funny how we take health for granted until it strikes us down. i've been in my bed for over a week now taking pills and all kinds of medicine to make me feel better. i've got some kind of weird virus or something. so apart from checking my emails now and then i've basically been surfing thru all the 99 chanels on my cable big screen lcd tv (i just needed to add that last part there...sorry...).

so as all the channels now seem the same to me (except eurosport of course where i daily watch the live broadcasts from us open) i much rather watch a great movie. this also gives me the opportunity to run-sack my DVD collection and memorise all the movies i haven't gotten the chance to memorise yet. thank god i joined itivi so they send me some fresh movies every couple of days. i don't even need to get out of bed to get them.

but i must admit this memorising has its charms. you always know what's gonna happen next :-). which brings me back to the title of this piece -- sicko -- which i probably really am since i've watched my favourite movies so many times i stopped counting. still i believe there are souls like me out there. and i say -- keep on going!